背景音乐，你如果非要说我俗了傻了彪了，都无所谓。 写着写着决定不用这首歌了。
[五月天]
昨天去奶奶家看刚刚回来的小姑。离开的时候路过楼下的一家卖衣服的商店，门口的功放放的是
SHE的
五月天。
我还记得，07年的那个夏天，夏末，张晓彤拿着我的手机听这首歌的情景。
也许那个时候，怎么都想不到今天会是什么样子，会是这个样子。
Steve Jobs：
You can never look forward. Instead, you can only look backward.
前年的五月天，我初恋了。
去年的五月天，物是人非，我在热恋。
今天的五月天，我一个人，在香港荃湾的考试中心里吹着冷气。
以后的五月天，。
……
今天语文连堂上的是作文。作文的话题是”自我的认知和别人的期望”。讲的是一个登山运动员在攀登珠峰的时候在8000米由于体力不支而放弃了，队友对他说，你应该登顶的，太可惜了。他却说，8000米已经是我登山事业的最高点，我没有遗憾。又是一个无聊的故事，可是题目却直接点到我心头的灵感。一直以来，真的很想写点什么给同学和老师看看，不过，博客上写的一直都没有写出那些东西。今天在课堂上一阵酣畅的泼洒，我也没有顾及字数的限制，卷面整洁程度的限制，把高中以来，走上留学这条道路以来的所有感受一股脑的泼在纸上，交卷睡觉。
显然，我今天不想把作文再重述一遍。也许以后我会把它给弄上来。
简单的说。自从走出感情上的阴影，干了一些应该干的事情，我的周围就出现了一些“浪子回头值千金”一类的评论。而对于留学的事情，他们还是一副鄙夷地看着我。而对于我来说，外界对我的想法、看法、说法都已经毫无意义，我的家人都支持我，我已经很满意。
事实上，我从来不顾及别人对我的期许，最多只是尽力达到。我想做的只是找寻内心世界中那个真正的自我，不惜一切代价的寻找。只有那样子我才觉得自己是活着的，在这个世界上的存在才是有意义的。
人的进步可能很大程度上取决于别人的期许与激励。不过我不同。自我是一种堕落的状态，人的进步本质上是新的自我取代了旧的自我。而要想要取代就自我，就要回归到本我的状态下去审视自己，改变自己，重新树立一个自我，不断完善自己甚至达到一个超我的状态。
我的要求也没有那么高。不用去达到一个从心所欲不逾矩的超我状态。可是我想知道我是谁，我在干什么，我想干什么。我不会去管，今天谁怎么样了，明天谁怎么样了，谁的名次比我高，谁的英语比我好，谁怎么怎么样。我也更不会去管，别人又是怎么评价我，看待我，对我树立了多么大的期望。我走的是自己的人生轨迹而不是别人为我划定的坐标系。
有的人可能会说了，我这样子对得起我爸妈对我的期望吗？
我生命中最重要的家人们，对我最大的期望，便是找寻心中那个真正的自我。
所以，那个混沌的、离经叛道、众叛亲离的我，是我。
所以，那个拼搏的、两个星期俯视一学期的我，是我。
所以，那个不听英语课、一个人背着红宝的我，是我。
所以，那个看似不紧不慢、看书看到天亮的我，是我。
……
我感到周围的环境其实还是不错。这个学校整体来讲对于留学这件事情还是能正眼看待。对于很多太傻上面的朋友，我对他们的境遇感到同情与理解，我也是遭遇到这种鄙夷或者一样眼光的人。记得高一的班主任，在我和他面对面谈论我未来要出国这件事情上，他那不屑的表情，我就知道，也料到今天的结果。我不后悔，那就是一个自我。
……
情人节？
去年的时候，我记得我自己费劲千辛万苦，就为了出来陪她过一个情人节。我买了九多玫瑰给她。
我真贱。
This world seems to be more lonesome due to the St.Valentine’s day.
To those lovers in this world,
Please be self-esteem, because “saint” is only for those who deserve this appellation.
You, bitch, definitely are an exception.
……
终于开学了。
记得以前混混沌沌混日子的时候，一到开学就会有一种惶恐的不安或者极度的不情愿。不想要开学。不过着种感觉在今年已经烟消云散了，对于我来说，放不放假已经没有意义，我的日子从此会保持忙碌，不论黑白昼夜，无论春夏秋冬。
……
所以，做自己的事情，我不在乎他们怎么看怎么说。
非诚勿扰…..
……
Change your mind
by The All-American Rejects
Don’t solve the problem,
when danger is bitter.
Fall where we stuck them,
in cages of tither.
And all the bridges you’ve burned,
leave you trapped off at all sides.
And now the tables do turn,
and it’s all gone, what’s left for you.
And when the sky is falling,
don’t look outside the window.
Step back and hear i’m calling.
Give up, don’t take the busload.
It’s just your debt that binds you.
Just drop the stocks behind you, now.
Change your mind.
Let go too soon.
Sit down, you’re sinking,
there’s no one to watch you.
Skip town, you’re thinking,
there’s no one to stop you.
And all the bridges you’ve burned,
leave you trapped off at all sides.
And now the tables do turn,
and it’s all gone, what’s left for you.
Don’t run away,
Stop feeling fine.
It’s better than your worst, worst day.
No words to say, I’ll give you mine,
and pocket all the hurt, just stay.
Don’t run away.
It’s better than your worst, worst day.
And when the sky is falling,
don’t look outside the window.
Step back and hear i’m calling.
Give up, don’t take the busload.
Don’t run away.
Change your mind.
Let go too soon.
……
Hey you
So you never really found your way
Stay true
Did you ever make it through today
I know that when I think about a day without it
Everyday’s the same
You wish that you could find someone
But I’m the only one to blame
Can’t you see
I beg and plead
Cause when your eyes light up the skies at night
I know you’re gonna find your way back to me
No don’t
Don’t you ever let a piece of me down
Cause time won’t
Get back when I’m never around
When we live between so many walls
That I can barely breathe
You say that you just want someone
But I’m the only one you need
Can’t you see
I Beg and plead
Cause when your eyes light up the skies at night
I know you’re gonna find your way
If it’s me
That you don’t need
And when the lights go out tonight I know
You’re never gonna find your way
Soon when I get you I won’t let you go
Oooh if I let you
You can take away all that I thought was wrong
And if you hear me there’s not much to say
There’s gotta be a better way
Can’t you see
I beg and plead
Cause when your eyes light up the sky tonight
I know you’re going to find your way back to me
Can’t you see
I beg and plead
Cause when the lights go out tonight
I know you’re never gonna find your way
If it’s me
That you don’t need
That when the lights go out tonight
I know you’re never gonna find your way
If you pace around the world to you and me
And when your eyes light up the skies at night
I know you’re gonna find your way back to me
……
Rejects的新砖。三年。低调发布。好东西就是不一样，再低调，也很快爬上了Billboard Top 10。
BS Britney…
冷风过境回忆冻结成冰
我的付出全都要不到回音
悔恨就像是绵延不断的丘陵
痛苦全方位的降临
悲伤入侵誓言下落不明
我找不到那些爱过的曾经
你像在寂寞上空盘旋的秃鹰
将我想你啃食干净
月色摇晃树影
穿梭在热带雨林
你离去的原因
从来不说明
你的话伤神经
我最后才清醒
幸福只是水中的倒影
月色摇晃树影
穿梭在热带雨林
悲伤的雨不停
全身血淋淋
那深陷在沼泽
我不堪的爱情
是我无能为力的伤心
……
也算是周董的歌吧。献给所有逝去的爱情。
>>>
最近一直都在听Taylor Swift。没办法。EMINEM和LP都没能如期让我浮躁起来。倒是……嘻嘻。
>>>
Invisible by Taylor Swift
She can’t see the way your eyes
Light up when you smile
She’ll never notice how you stop and stair when ever she walks bye
And you can see me wanting you the way you want her
But you are everything to me
And I just wanna show you she don’t even know you
She’s never gonna love you like I want to
And you just see right through me
But if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable
Instead of just invisible
Yeah, mmm…
There’s a fire inside of you
That can’t help but shine through
She’s never gonna see the light
No matter what you do
And all I think about is how I make you think of me
And every thing we could be
And I just wanna show you she don’t even no you
She’s never gonna love you like I want to
And you just see right through me
But if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable
Instead of just invisible
>>>
>>>
兔子姐给我听的。隐隐约约以前听过吧。原来是当时批评周杰伦不能说的秘密MV抄袭的时候看过MV。
名不见经传的小乐队。可能歌曲本身没有太大成就吧，但是放在对于歌曲有同感的人身上，就是一行浊泪。
那天晚上为什么没听到这声音呢……
>>>
要快乐。
>>>
Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all that wants
And all that needs
All I don’t want to need at all.
The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.
A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
Your finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such disdain
The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight will make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when your blind
It’s better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know
……
一年。
嗯。一年。
……
盼了很久，从去年今天开始盼，盼望这一天的到来。不单单是因为一个Anniversary的意义，更在于，这是一段坚实感情的见证。这就是一年。一年的意义、作用。
等了一年，终于等到了今天。
却发现等来的只不过是一片空白。
手机上写着We Get Together…
化妆盒上写着Super Anniversary…早就被你扔到不知何处…
……
对不起。我还活在回忆里。也许你还在往前走，可是我没有。对不起，不能再继续跟随你远去的足迹。只盼望。在地转偏向力的作用下，两条欧式几何里不会再相交的直线，重新在地球的某一角落里重合。
翻着照片。
They’re yellowed…
……
12/20。威海。TOEFL。
对自己说。对柱子说。
对明天就要在潍坊战斗的杨航说。
对远方的沙千惠说。
最后对你说。
加油。
……Yellow by Coldplay
look at the stars,
look how they shine for you,
and everything you do,
yeah, they were all yellow.
i came along,
i wrote a song for you,
and all the things you do,
and it was called yellow.
so then i took my turn,
oh what a thing to have done,
and it was all yellow.
your skin
oh yeah, your skin and bones,
turn into something beautiful,
you know, you know i love you so,
you know i love you so.
i swam across,
i jumped across for you,
oh what a thing to do.
cos you were all yellow,
i drew a line,
i drew a line for you,
oh what a thing to do,
and it was all yellow.
your skin,
oh yeah your skin and bones,
turn into something beautiful,
and you know,
for you id bleed myself dry,
for you id bleed myself dry.
its true,
look how they shine for you,
look how they shine for you,
look how they shine for,
look how they shine for you,
look how they shine for you,
look how they shine.
look at the stars,
look how they shine for you,
and all the things that you do
……
Akon的声音，之前还不能接受。
犹记得那年Grammy，Akon高吼着”I wanna f… you…” 不知道的真以为是f***了…
如今这张新砖真的是好多了。整体感觉就是。辽阔。
封面就很辽阔。蓝色的天，蓝色的海。
声音也很辽阔。Akon那独特的嗓音，乍一听也许欣赏不来，柱子和震震都这么说，但是仔细听来，真的是一种辽阔的嗓音，不同于Ne-Yo，是辽阔。
最好听的分布在最前和最后吧。Beautiful和Keep You Much Longer，听了以后让我想哭。最喜欢的还是Be With You，点出了我的心声。最后的Clap Again，是一首神曲。
奏唱不能说的秘密，是我的梦想。我实现不了了。
看到老外唱成这样。汗颜了。
视频是校内上张睿分享的。
